senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Single Panel

Can’t

And I LOVE complaining.

That explains it

Hobos need haircuts, too.

Either way, you’re gross

Switch to human skin.

Buttstuff

When I asked my girlfriend if she liked this title, she said "Yeah, I like buttstuff."

Nope

Put the cat down, and never talk to me again.

Books

Also, "calculating" anything makes you a nerd. And get a kindle already.

Dozen or Nothin’

Don't count your egg before it's hatched.

The Struggle

"How about you?" - "English. And nothing, to answer your follow up."

Birthday

Shut up and buy me a beer.

Enhance

I don't feel comfortable with you all up in my grill like this.

Loyalty

You'll know I get the job if I no call/no show for the rest of the week.

Hangs

I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.

Coffeopathy

But no, you can't have it.

Head Shapes

Really sensitive about his weird-looking cranium.

Work Ethics

You know we're not in the office, right?

Priceless

The economy could be booming, if only people adjusted the way they viewed my services.

Party Hard

Because even if you're not joking that's hilarious.

The Struggle

I took calculus in college, so I can tell you it's 6pm.

Undependence Day

Sweaty Christmas

Money can’t buy doing less work

Sort of evens itself out.

Car Trouble

Editor's note: SS would never commit or condone the actions described in this comic. That would be fraud. *biggest fucking wink ever*

No Thank You

Just stop.

Fart Gallery

Those farts cost me $9.25, and they were worth every penny.

I loves him

If you shave them they're actually super aerodynamic.

Is That a No?

Just kidding, pay for our gas and we'll be there.

Frankenspine

I haven't actually googled Frankenspine. If that's a real band I'm not talking about them.

Sleep overs

I only share my coffee if I HAVE to.

Commitment

Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.

The difference is I don’t care

Just imagine, I have to talk to assholes like you all day.

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.

Being out of sick days sucks

I should really get a real job.

Rest Up

Makes total sense. Why don't you come in around noon?

Beard Envy

And now here I am bragging to you guys about a beard I don't have anymore. Impressed?

Mouse free

Someone should let him know he can still use the line and circle tools with the touchpad.

Classy

I'm still just having a five dollar and ten cent meal, though.

Back to reality

Call back in a week when I'm numb to everything again.

Starving Hardest

Get out there and make a name for yourself. What is your name, by the way? "Fuck You For Listening."

Living the dream

And sweat.

Touring Florida

Sleeping in the van, whether I'm driving or not.

Like for like

I like everything you do when you're in the same room with me.

Morning Dilemma

I'm not trying to say I don't like it. In fact, I think people should wake me up with coffee more often so I can get desensitized to it.

Making Friends

People you meet on tour are full of these great opening lines.

Guest Comic # six (Daniel Hicks)

THIS SHIT IS DEEP. JK, no idea what this is, it's nowhere near Mother's Day.

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.

Never Enough

I need at least 24 hours of sleep before I can wake up and go back to sleep again.

Rules Are Rules

I always shit at work. But I also always shit at home. Basically, I always shit everywhere.

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.

One of those “interpretations” I keep hearing about

I think this still counts as a comic.

Uninvited

Stay at home and "watch" your movies by yourself, freak.

Surprise attack coffee comic

I can make any conversation into a conversation about coffee.

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.

Crybaby

So it'll be easier for me to ignore.

Semantics

Woah woah woah, I ain't tryin' to be a part of no love triangle here!

Nerdy Halloween

"What are you supposed to be?" - "A sexy The Thing."

Who Knows Anymore

I'll just look online to see if it DAMNIT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES.

Timeless

Farts are always funny, but once in a while you get that comedian that goes too far and poops.

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.

Caller ID is still a thing

I know your address, too.

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.

Cat Something

Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.

 

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.

Sharing

The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

Let's go back to that.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.

Smoke-free smoke breaks

I just want to take seven paid breaks a day, too.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.

I’ll fight you

Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.

Understanding

It's a process. Not a good one, though.

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.

Timely

There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.

The Old Switcheroo

Here I stand, all bent and stooped- Tried to fart, but only pooped.

All seven of my deadly sins are “envy”

His beard is the only thing in the world that can do more push-ups than me.

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.

We can’t be funny all the time

SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.

Curling >

I'm getting a second job to pay for a cable upgrade. I just have to be off by 4am.

Chicago’s Winter Layers

At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

Obligations

This comic is late because of those links. Back to the grind!

The tall guy at basement shows

"Do you need ice for your vagina?" - "Yes."

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."

Anatomy is Weird

It never goes down the crotch tube.

Important Questions

How much guitar would a guitar guitar if a guitar could guitar?

In logic we pray …

I'm serious, you understand how food works, right? Right? It's important to me that you know this.

JK

Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.

Free at last

No matter where you drop your food, if it's on the floor where a pet lives, there's hair on it when you pick it up.

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