senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Single Panel

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!-

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.-

Caller ID is still a thing

I know your address, too.-

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Cat Something

-Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.-

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.-

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.-

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.-

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.-

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.-

 

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-

Sharing

The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.-

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

-Let's go back to that.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.-

Smoke-free smoke breaks

-I just want to take seven paid breaks a day, too.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-

I’ll fight you

-Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-

Understanding

It's a process. Not a good one, though.-

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.-

Timely

There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.-

The Old Switcheroo

Here I stand, all bent and stooped- Tried to fart, but only pooped.-

All seven of my deadly sins are “envy”

-His beard is the only thing in the world that can do more push-ups than me.

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

We can’t be funny all the time

-SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg-

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.-

Curling >

I'm getting a second job to pay for a cable upgrade. I just have to be off by 4am.-

Chicago’s Winter Layers

-At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

Obligations

This comic is late because of those links. Back to the grind!-

The tall guy at basement shows

-"Do you need ice for your vagina?" - "Yes."

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."-

Anatomy is Weird

It never goes down the crotch tube.-

Important Questions

How much guitar would a guitar guitar if a guitar could guitar?-

In logic we pray …

-I'm serious, you understand how food works, right? Right? It's important to me that you know this.

JK

Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.-

Free at last

No matter where you drop your food, if it's on the floor where a pet lives, there's hair on it when you pick it up.

-

Half-Milestone

I've gotta find some way to skip a day so Guy 2 gets on evens. Way too much stress.-

Pissness Meeting

The visiting business men were so impressed with his boldness they signed a ten-year contract with their firm, Urine, Urine & Wizz.-

Coors can breakdown

-WAIT, DON'T GO, I CAN CHANGE, I SWEAR!

Pale for Good

Dad was all like "You don't see sand this white even in Hawaii!" and then he got real quiet and said "Kids... get back in the car."-

No shave nowinter

-Yea, that's how my facial hair grows, you want to fight about it?

Inspiration

I guess you could say bad.-

Basically, yea.

-Sportz!

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