senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Guy 1

Binge Addicts

Just binge-watch every show until you die, then it'll finally be over.

Buttstuff

When I asked my girlfriend if she liked this title, she said "Yeah, I like buttstuff."

Books

Also, "calculating" anything makes you a nerd. And get a kindle already.

Dozen or Nothin’

Don't count your egg before it's hatched.

Birthday

Shut up and buy me a beer.

Enhance

I don't feel comfortable with you all up in my grill like this.

Too Early

Everything means "bedtime?" to me.

Hangs

I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.

Head Shapes

Really sensitive about his weird-looking cranium.

Priceless

The economy could be booming, if only people adjusted the way they viewed my services.

The Struggle

I took calculus in college, so I can tell you it's 6pm.

Undependence Day

Sweaty Christmas

Car Trouble

Editor's note: SS would never commit or condone the actions described in this comic. That would be fraud. *biggest fucking wink ever*

No Thank You

Just stop.

Fart Gallery

Those farts cost me $9.25, and they were worth every penny.

Is That a No?

Just kidding, pay for our gas and we'll be there.

Frankenspine

I haven't actually googled Frankenspine. If that's a real band I'm not talking about them.

Commitment

Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.

Rest Up

Makes total sense. Why don't you come in around noon?

Beard Envy

And now here I am bragging to you guys about a beard I don't have anymore. Impressed?

Classy

I'm still just having a five dollar and ten cent meal, though.

Starving Hardest

Get out there and make a name for yourself. What is your name, by the way? "Fuck You For Listening."

Touring Florida

Sleeping in the van, whether I'm driving or not.

Morning Dilemma

I'm not trying to say I don't like it. In fact, I think people should wake me up with coffee more often so I can get desensitized to it.

Making Friends

People you meet on tour are full of these great opening lines.

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.

Never Enough

I need at least 24 hours of sleep before I can wake up and go back to sleep again.

Rules Are Rules

I always shit at work. But I also always shit at home. Basically, I always shit everywhere.

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.

Uninvited

Stay at home and "watch" your movies by yourself, freak.

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.

Semantics

Woah woah woah, I ain't tryin' to be a part of no love triangle here!

Who Knows Anymore

I'll just look online to see if it DAMNIT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES.

Timeless

Farts are always funny, but once in a while you get that comedian that goes too far and poops.

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.

Sharing

The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.

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