senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Guy 1

Binge Addicts

Just binge-watch every show until you die, then it'll finally be over.


When I asked my girlfriend if she liked this title, she said "Yeah, I like buttstuff."


Also, "calculating" anything makes you a nerd. And get a kindle already.

Dozen or Nothin’

Don't count your egg before it's hatched.


Shut up and buy me a beer.


I don't feel comfortable with you all up in my grill like this.

Too Early

Everything means "bedtime?" to me.


I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.

Head Shapes

Really sensitive about his weird-looking cranium.


The economy could be booming, if only people adjusted the way they viewed my services.

The Struggle

I took calculus in college, so I can tell you it's 6pm.

Undependence Day

Sweaty Christmas

Car Trouble

Editor's note: SS would never commit or condone the actions described in this comic. That would be fraud. *biggest fucking wink ever*

No Thank You

Just stop.

Fart Gallery

Those farts cost me $9.25, and they were worth every penny.

Is That a No?

Just kidding, pay for our gas and we'll be there.


I haven't actually googled Frankenspine. If that's a real band I'm not talking about them.


Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.

Rest Up

Makes total sense. Why don't you come in around noon?

Beard Envy

And now here I am bragging to you guys about a beard I don't have anymore. Impressed?


I'm still just having a five dollar and ten cent meal, though.

Starving Hardest

Get out there and make a name for yourself. What is your name, by the way? "Fuck You For Listening."

Touring Florida

Sleeping in the van, whether I'm driving or not.

Morning Dilemma

I'm not trying to say I don't like it. In fact, I think people should wake me up with coffee more often so I can get desensitized to it.

Making Friends

People you meet on tour are full of these great opening lines.

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.

Never Enough

I need at least 24 hours of sleep before I can wake up and go back to sleep again.

Rules Are Rules

I always shit at work. But I also always shit at home. Basically, I always shit everywhere.

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.


Stay at home and "watch" your movies by yourself, freak.

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.


Woah woah woah, I ain't tryin' to be a part of no love triangle here!

Who Knows Anymore

I'll just look online to see if it DAMNIT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES.


Farts are always funny, but once in a while you get that comedian that goes too far and poops.

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.


Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.


The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.


Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.


It's a process. Not a good one, though.

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.


There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.


I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.

The Old Switcheroo

Here I stand, all bent and stooped- Tried to fart, but only pooped.

Wahhhhmuel L. Jackson

Yeah, look at that fucking car. You like that, don't you? Yeah, you like that.

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.

Curling >

I'm getting a second job to pay for a cable upgrade. I just have to be off by 4am.


This comic is late because of those links. Back to the grind!

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."

Anatomy is Weird

It never goes down the crotch tube.

Important Questions

How much guitar would a guitar guitar if a guitar could guitar?


Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.


I've gotta find some way to skip a day so Guy 2 gets on evens. Way too much stress.

Pissness Meeting

The visiting business men were so impressed with his boldness they signed a ten-year contract with their firm, Urine, Urine & Wizz.

Pale for Good

Dad was all like "You don't see sand this white even in Hawaii!" and then he got real quiet and said "Kids... get back in the car."


I guess you could say bad.

And Ye Shall Find

"Do you know how to spell it? No? It's a Behringer."

Senior Discount

What, because you have less time to use the product you think we should make less money on it? Nice try.

Grown-Ass Babies

When Mike thinks you need to grow up, you're in trouble.

Snow Day

True story, but I drank it all the night before. And drew this comic then, too.

It’s a Trampoline Store

They sell trampolines.

Pissed Opportunities

Piss is basically a 1-star rating. Shit is a formal complaint with the BBB.

Call the Cops

More like "butt-curdling."

Christmas Daydrunk

Present selection order is soooo important. Pick the bottle-shaped one first.

Surprise Sext

Dingus Milbury likes to go by just "Gus," but I keep him in my phone as "Dingus" because I like to remember that his parents hated him, too.

Duck Crynasty

If we can't say queers aren't people, then what CAN we say?


I made enough money on day 28, but by then the gas had covered the better part of America, so the tour was kind of unnecessary.


Think Santa saw you walk under that ladder earlier?

Plight of the Bumblefuck

He can get orange juice from down the street for less than you're charging for lemonade, but he can't buy from them anymore due to their inability to give it to him in a plastic cup.

Birds and the fleas

What? No, I'm allergic to bees.

The Usual Expects

I sneaked a packet of anthrax into his package, for grammar's sake.

Wing Dingleberry

If you don't speak wing ding, don't worry- it wouldn't make this funnier.

Fat Friday

Yeah, it's finally that time of year when even we can talk about Christmas. Merry holidays.


such moist. very squirt. wow.

Paid Nap

Tomorrow's comic might be better, but if not, there's a bunch of good ones out there for you to read.

Paint the Town Asleep

Second favorite thing? I went to bed pretty early once in October.

Mike’s a Pro

Check out that certified 8th grade Trapper Keeper artwork.

Fine Dining

And tomorrow we can have leftover corn.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Firstly, you're not supposed to hate anyone. See if you can do that for a day and I'll give you more.

Milk Thirty

You don't think cows notice that it's an hour earlier or later every time?


Inspired by a "guitar collector" that gave me some primo info on Maestros at Best Buy.

Conversations With My Girlfriend

Whole conversations half-held.

Better Late Than Ever

Halloween should be observed on the last Saturday of October.

Yes, Dear

*throws remote into the sun*


"Friday" means "fuck off, kid, I'm not telling you all my secrets."


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