senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: work

The Struggle

"How about you?" - "English. And nothing, to answer your follow up."


You'll know I get the job if I no call/no show for the rest of the week.


I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.


But no, you can't have it.

Work Ethics

You know we're not in the office, right?

Money can’t buy doing less work

Sort of evens itself out.

No Thank You

Just stop.

I don’t get paid to talk to you out of the office

Don't be such a cunthole, Steve.


Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.

The difference is I don’t care

Just imagine, I have to talk to assholes like you all day.

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.

Being out of sick days sucks

I should really get a real job.

Rest Up

Makes total sense. Why don't you come in around noon?

Back to reality

Call back in a week when I'm numb to everything again.

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.

Rules Are Rules

I always shit at work. But I also always shit at home. Basically, I always shit everywhere.

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.

Seems Legit

"Oh yea. And you're top in sales like, every week. 'Atta-boy."

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.

Caller ID is still a thing

I know your address, too.

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.

Cats are weird.

Smother it before it wakes up.

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.


Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.


The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.

Smoke-free smoke breaks

I just want to take seven paid breaks a day, too.

I’ll fight you

Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.


Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.


It's a process. Not a good one, though.


I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.

We can’t be funny all the time


Curling >

I'm getting a second job to pay for a cable upgrade. I just have to be off by 4am.


This comic is late because of those links. Back to the grind!

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."

I don’t care

I'm sooooooooo sorry your case got to you before your guitar. Do you want to hug it out? Need some tea? Chamomille? Need some ice for your vagina?

Important Questions

How much guitar would a guitar guitar if a guitar could guitar?

And Ye Shall Find

"Do you know how to spell it? No? It's a Behringer."

It’s the thought that counts

If I can get just one employee fired for cussing at a kid due to being completely overwhelmed then I've done my part.

Senior Discount

What, because you have less time to use the product you think we should make less money on it? Nice try.

Grown-Ass Babies

When Mike thinks you need to grow up, you're in trouble.

Snow Day

True story, but I drank it all the night before. And drew this comic then, too.

It’s a Trampoline Store

They sell trampolines.

Happy can’t talk I’m late for work day

Before you call me boring, just know I spent eight months of 2013 totally not doing that shit at all.

White Christmas

Don't be a dick this holiday, hope for a regular colored Christmas.

How the breakfast place was won

They both are equally effective, but only one can be funny.

Stating the statement

"Hey can I ask you a question?" - "Sure." - "Thanks." *click*  ...

Real Feel

"Hm. Looks like rain." - Chance of rain: 100%.

How office romances start

You had me at "you'll do."

The Usual Expects

I sneaked a packet of anthrax into his package, for grammar's sake.

Fat Friday

Yeah, it's finally that time of year when even we can talk about Christmas. Merry holidays.

Paid Nap

Tomorrow's comic might be better, but if not, there's a bunch of good ones out there for you to read.

Too much guitars, not enough drums

"Sir, I can tell by the way your face sounds that you're going to be a terrible guitarist. Trust me, the world needs more dumb drummers."

Mike’s a Pro

Check out that certified 8th grade Trapper Keeper artwork.

Mike’s a slacker

Beards are much easier to draw in real life.

Milk Thirty

You don't think cows notice that it's an hour earlier or later every time?

Online customer service

"Hang on a moment while I google that for you."

Better Late Than Ever

Halloween should be observed on the last Saturday of October.

Yes, Dear

*throws remote into the sun*

First day of work

I can name what instrument they all play, too. We have too many bosses.


"Friday" means "fuck off, kid, I'm not telling you all my secrets."

Meatstores, Inc.

They sell meat in stores.

Strict TSA

"This trashcan will do."

Service With a Creepy Smile

True story, but it was Penske.

Horse Fart Trauma

It was long and wet and made me jealous.


Whoops, poops!

Hashtag Die

Damn, his boss is a #dick.

Problem Solving 2: Solve This

*glug glug glug glug glug glug glug* Now, where were we?


I think I fucked up.

Educational Programming

Give me a hand with this real quick.

Stupid babies

I don't give special treatment to ANYONE.


Twerk it when you twerk that twerk you twerk, twerk.

CEO of BeardCo

Sorry, guy. Maybe Victoria's Secret is hiring.

The Princess and the Pee

The title is funny because he's a little princess and he had to sleep on a weird bed because he pissed in his own.

Another coffee comic

Now go make me a sandwich.

Dead Tired


I Took Remedial Math Once

If a train leaves Cleveland traveling at 45 mph, and another train leaves at the same time from Miami traveling 75 mph, what is 1+1?

“High One” Will Never Catch On

Makes you wonder how all the guys in our office comics get anything done. Typing in the Senile Something universe has to be awful.

Red Rover Defense

My degree isn't in math, but it doesn't take a genius to know that coaches have been seriously under-manning their defensive lines.

He’s Talking to His Mom

Is Slayer hiring?

Don’t Drink and Doodle

Half of this conversation is true. Also, I'm hungover at band practice as you're reading this. Stay in school. But not in a dumb useless major like us.

That’s Not What I Would’ve Called It

Scientists are the worst at naming things.

Billionth Time’s a Charm!

Fuck: this song, this guitar, this studio, you, me, everything, especially this song.

Cover Comedians

Just stick with telling Dane Cook jokes to your unfulfilled girlfriend.

Breakfast for weenies

"Oh, and a diet coke." "Flat coke, coming right up."

Not Enough Bodies At This Party

I'm just kidding, my freezer broke a few years ago.

Getting older

You get taller, houses get shorter. It's science.

Love for Coffee Trumps All

I don't know how he speaks so clearly with a hand in his mouth, either.

I *fart* Senile Something

Highbrow humor is our thing, and what better way to show it?

Make it Rain Piss

Not that $17 is going to go make much of a dent in these student loans.


DESTROY- verb: to reduce (an object) to useless fragments, a useless form, or remains, as by rending, burning, or dissolving; injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate; unable to talk, among other things. LITERAL- adj: in accordance with, involving, or being the primary or strict meaning of the word or words; not figurative or metaphorical; suck it.

To Tame The Beast


The importance of being punctual

"It's Tuesday. Also, my name is Austin."

Rich owners

No one likes any of those things except coffee-- and there's a Starbucks across the street.

White History Month

Woah, woah, woah! Can we rename Christmas "Crackermas?"

In which memory is tested

"You cannot use any of your last six passwords. All passwords must include at least one lowercase letter, one upper case letter, one number and one special character. Do not use your name, birth date, social security number, or any other word or combination of numbers that will be easily remembered."

Morning cup of depression

Unlike regular bullets, with which you can at least kill yourself.

Edible arrangements at the office

"Chocolate-less fruit? And they call that 'edible?' I call it false advertising."


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