senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: stupid

No problem

"I'm serious, you can't tell anyone." - "I'm serious, stop talking to me."

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Either way, you’re gross

Switch to human skin.

I’m sorry I asked

Nothing tears a musical community apart faster than creating a sub-genre and insisting everyone in your community conforms to that sound.

Dozen or Nothin’

Don't count your egg before it's hatched.

Birthday

Shut up and buy me a beer.

My best ideas are on bike

But I can never remember them when I'm done riding.

Too Early

Everything means "bedtime?" to me.

Loyalty

You'll know I get the job if I no call/no show for the rest of the week.

Hangs

I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.

Coffeopathy

But no, you can't have it.

Head Shapes

Really sensitive about his weird-looking cranium.

Work Ethics

You know we're not in the office, right?

Priceless

The economy could be booming, if only people adjusted the way they viewed my services.

Party Hard

Because even if you're not joking that's hilarious.

The Struggle

I took calculus in college, so I can tell you it's 6pm.

Big Trouble

"Then she said 'don't worry about it.'" -- "It's worse than I thought."

Undependence Day

Sweaty Christmas

Money can’t buy doing less work

Sort of evens itself out.

All I want to do is whatever I want

"You seem to be going quite a bit over the speed limit, too." - "Bah-- those things are more like suggestions."

No Thank You

Just stop.

I don’t get paid to talk to you out of the office

Don't be such a cunthole, Steve.

Fart Gallery

Those farts cost me $9.25, and they were worth every penny.

I loves him

If you shave them they're actually super aerodynamic.

Is That a No?

Just kidding, pay for our gas and we'll be there.

You guys are all the coolest guys

"Faggot."

Frankenspine

I haven't actually googled Frankenspine. If that's a real band I'm not talking about them.

Sleep overs

I only share my coffee if I HAVE to.

Commitment

Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.

The difference is I don’t care

Just imagine, I have to talk to assholes like you all day.

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.

Being out of sick days sucks

I should really get a real job.

Rest Up

Makes total sense. Why don't you come in around noon?

Fair enough

Usually he just sits and stares. But I didn't feel like drawing him that way. Please see Monday's comic for explanation.

Mouse free

Someone should let him know he can still use the line and circle tools with the touchpad.

Classy

I'm still just having a five dollar and ten cent meal, though.

Back to reality

Call back in a week when I'm numb to everything again.

Starving Hardest

Get out there and make a name for yourself. What is your name, by the way? "Fuck You For Listening."

Living the dream

And sweat.

Like for like

I like everything you do when you're in the same room with me.

The Girl with the Coffee Tattoo

"Yes, of course. How rude of me. I'll put on a pot right away."

Making Friends

People you meet on tour are full of these great opening lines.

I’m bad with short goodbyes

Bring it in for the real thing.

Guest Comic # six (Daniel Hicks)

THIS SHIT IS DEEP. JK, no idea what this is, it's nowhere near Mother's Day.

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.

Never Enough

I need at least 24 hours of sleep before I can wake up and go back to sleep again.

“What a cute baby, what’s his name?” – “Spot.”

That baby's pretty chill, though.

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.

One of those “interpretations” I keep hearing about

I think this still counts as a comic.

Uninvited

Stay at home and "watch" your movies by yourself, freak.

Surprise attack coffee comic

I can make any conversation into a conversation about coffee.

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.

Seems Legit

"Oh yea. And you're top in sales like, every week. 'Atta-boy."

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.

Crybaby

So it'll be easier for me to ignore.

Semantics

Woah woah woah, I ain't tryin' to be a part of no love triangle here!

Nerdy Halloween

"What are you supposed to be?" - "A sexy The Thing."

Who Knows Anymore

I'll just look online to see if it DAMNIT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES.

You keep saying that word …

I just want you to be prepapared for the biggest let down in the history of television.

Timeless

Farts are always funny, but once in a while you get that comedian that goes too far and poops.

Reason for the seasons

Florida is the monogamy of temperature.

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.

Caller ID is still a thing

I know your address, too.

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.

Cat Something

Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

Why would you ever need to spell that?

Drape is never funny.

BFFE

Basically, if you don't love The Big Lebowski, we're not really friends.

Cats are weird.

Smother it before it wakes up.

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.

 

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.

Sharing

The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

Let's go back to that.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.

Smoke-free smoke breaks

I just want to take seven paid breaks a day, too.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.

In which a room needs cleaning.

No one notices when you clean unless you allow it to get dirty enough first.

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.

It’s really consumed my days

I blame tacos. Wait, blame is the wrong word. I thank tacos.

Understanding

It's a process. Not a good one, though.

Spoiler: they don’t live in Florida

I bet you thought this was going to be about a cat ...

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.

Timely

There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.

Science

I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.

“Prison” is a funny looking word when you type it over and over

You know, the way you phrased all that makes me feel like you were making my argument for me.

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

Wahhhhmuel L. Jackson

Yeah, look at that fucking car. You like that, don't you? Yeah, you like that.

All seven of my deadly sins are “envy”

His beard is the only thing in the world that can do more push-ups than me.

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.

We can’t be funny all the time

SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg

Doing Something

$37 well spent.

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."

I don’t care

I'm sooooooooo sorry your case got to you before your guitar. Do you want to hug it out? Need some tea? Chamomille? Need some ice for your vagina?