senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: monday

Big Trouble

"Then she said 'don't worry about it.'" -- "It's worse than I thought."

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No Thank You

Just stop.

You guys are all the coolest guys

"Faggot."

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.

Mouse free

Someone should let him know he can still use the line and circle tools with the touchpad.

Back to reality

Call back in a week when I'm numb to everything again.

Touring Florida

Sleeping in the van, whether I'm driving or not.

I’m bad with short goodbyes

Bring it in for the real thing.

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.

Seems Legit

"Oh yea. And you're top in sales like, every week. 'Atta-boy."

That’ll show ’em.

I don't know, maybe don't tell her all that next time.

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.

BFFE

Basically, if you don't love The Big Lebowski, we're not really friends.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

The return of death by scissors.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.

It’s really consumed my days

I blame tacos. Wait, blame is the wrong word. I thank tacos.

Timely

There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg

Chicago’s Winter Layers

At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

Anatomy is Weird

It never goes down the crotch tube.

Free at last

No matter where you drop your food, if it's on the floor where a pet lives, there's hair on it when you pick it up.

Pale for Good

Dad was all like "You don't see sand this white even in Hawaii!" and then he got real quiet and said "Kids... get back in the car."

It’s the thought that counts

If I can get just one employee fired for cussing at a kid due to being completely overwhelmed then I've done my part.

Snow Day

True story, but I drank it all the night before. And drew this comic then, too.

What they don’t tell you about living up North

And wind is just really cold wind.

Surprise Sext

Dingus Milbury likes to go by just "Gus," but I keep him in my phone as "Dingus" because I like to remember that his parents hated him, too.

How the breakfast place was won

They both are equally effective, but only one can be funny.

Birds and the fleas

What? No, I'm allergic to bees.

How SLC Punk should’ve ended

That speech did nothing for me, because fashion is more important than whatever she was babbling about. Get it fixed, ladies.

Paid Nap

Tomorrow's comic might be better, but if not, there's a bunch of good ones out there for you to read.

Mike’s a slacker

Beards are much easier to draw in real life.

Milk Thirty

You don't think cows notice that it's an hour earlier or later every time?

Online customer service

"Hang on a moment while I google that for you."

Don’t be a gay (guest comic five)

My pa' says common courtesy's fer queers!

Thanks to Reymun Jarvis aka Worsethen Jarbage at Beat the Whales Productions for this submission.

Email your guest comics to bjess002@gmail.com!

Reader Loyalty

Want to guess who he's reading?

Presidential Gas

Hail to the beef.

President Bad Mother Fucker

Just to be clear, this is a joke about his big dick, not about him being a war monger or something.

Service With a Creepy Smile

True story, but it was Penske.

Awesome Van for Awesome Man

That Van Club is real. It's on par with the "Black Dudes with Dreds" club and "Pregnant Bitches United."

Pro: Everything Else

Enough chit-chat, is it noon yet? I'm dying for a beer.

Concerts

Being able to buy beer really changes your perspective on life.

Yaygermeister

Nothing like waking up to a claw-hammer being brought down with commanding authority repeatedly on your brain.

Being in a wedding

"Don't worry, you're going to love your groomsman gift." - "If it's a glass of any kind tell me now so I can opt out."

Sound Research

Oh, except for that one night outside of Las Vegas. I'm pretty sure that light is still red.

I can’t stress this enough

If you drink anything but "espresso" or "americano," stop saying you like coffee.

Problem Solving

Glug Life

Plagiarism Week II – xkcd.com

Yea well ... I can do more pull ups than he can. - http://xkcd.com/

Whoops!

I think I fucked up.

Only one of these is right

Yea but 1 and 11 looks so bad ass, though.

Too soon

Plus, he was black.

Carcinogens Are In

Hippies can only get cancer from antiperspirant or white bread.

Both Kinds

We have a stage out back for both kinds of music, too.

Public Service Announcement

Also, stop using emoticons.

Hoard’oeuvres

Blah blah "junk" blah blah "box" blah blah "hahahaha."

Twerk

Twerk it when you twerk that twerk you twerk, twerk.

You have to love like me or it’s not love

I don't compromise my testicles to express myself.

The Princess and the Pee

The title is funny because he's a little princess and he had to sleep on a weird bed because he pissed in his own.

Speedy urine

It's called "time management."

“Like” A Boss

"Please stop posting pictures of your baby doing drugs on my page, I think I can get arrested for that."

In which diets get out of hand

And it's vegan water, too.

Monday Bloody Monday

IN THE FACE!

Glory

Spoiler: they all die.

Party of One

"Oh, you wanna buy me a beer? Yeah, I've just been really busy. I've missed you. I enjoy our times together. Let's be best friends."

Life’s mysteries answered

Just kidding. There is no god.

April Fools

It's a long setup, but soooo worth it.

Fun with animals

"I was going to get a dog but it was too much responsibility. You don't even have to pick up this one's poop."

Dangover

Practice makes perfect!

Gay-Kissing

Windowth to the thoul.

Moving to Australia won’t help.

"Love it or leave it, man" hacky sacks, headbands and hemp products now available at your local coffee shop.

Submit your own “Republican protestor” sign to bjess002@gmail.com!

Every man’s first ultrasound

"You can't fool me, Doctor. I've seen 'Alien' before."

White History Month

Woah, woah, woah! Can we rename Christmas "Crackermas?"

Honey cures all

Moral: Put honey on your face. It solves all of your problems.

Good Talk

Also I blocked you on facebook and sent death threats to your parents. My bad.

Vegan Honey

Oh. I'll just take it with half and half, then.

Spirits have a sense of humor, too.

Inspired by true (by reality television's standards) events.

Awkward

– Awkward- adj: lacking skill or dexterity; lacking grace or ease in movement; lacking social graces or manners; lacking any clue at all.

Picked last again

If a tree can develop an inferiority complex you just witnessed it.

Adaptations for Hipsters

This works with all adaptations except Stephen King novels. Those movies are terrible with or without having read the books.

Throne of Wisdom

I've decided it has something to do with having my pants off. If I'm ever arrested for public indecency just blame it on this game.

I’m real good at following stuff.

The same people who make you listen to "Baby got back" as the ring back tune when you call them.

Upgrade

T-Dog

Good Morning!

Guess how I feel at 5am when I'm really supposed to wake up? Hint: Nothing like the guy in the comic.

Vegan Barbecue

Pick-up lines 101

I don’t care

Don’t do drugs

Stairs

Boooooooooooooooooooo

Plagiarism Week – #1

We’re proud to present: PLAGIARISM WEEK!*

* we hold the right to extend this beyond a week.

PTSD

Afterlife Debate

Your Union Must Suck

I love coffee

Chick-fil-gay

Is this even a comic?

Because you like Coldplay