senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: witty

Summer is a confusing season in Chicago

-Oh, the woes of having heaters operated by the building owners.

No problem

-"I'm serious, you can't tell anyone." - "I'm serious, stop talking to me."

Buttstuff

When I asked my girlfriend if she liked this title, she said "Yeah, I like buttstuff."-

The Struggle

-"How about you?" - "English. And nothing, to answer your follow up."

My best ideas are on bike

-But I can never remember them when I'm done riding.

Hangs

I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.-

Big Trouble

-"Then she said 'don't worry about it.'" -- "It's worse than I thought."

No Thank You

Just stop.-

I don’t get paid to talk to you out of the office

-Don't be such a cunthole, Steve.

I loves him

If you shave them they're actually super aerodynamic.

-

Sleep overs

-I only share my coffee if I HAVE to.

Commitment

Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.-

Fair enough

-Usually he just sits and stares. But I didn't feel like drawing him that way. Please see Monday's comic for explanation.

The Girl with the Coffee Tattoo

-"Yes, of course. How rude of me. I'll put on a pot right away."

Guest Comic # six (Daniel Hicks)

-THIS SHIT IS DEEP. JK, no idea what this is, it's nowhere near Mother's Day.

It’s my favorite number of outs

-"Hey, coach. What's my on base percentage?" - ".666." - "STOP IT."

Surprise attack coffee comic

-I can make any conversation into a conversation about coffee.

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.-

Crybaby

-So it'll be easier for me to ignore.

Reason for the seasons

Florida is the monogamy of temperature.

-

That’ll show ‘em.

I don't know, maybe don't tell her all that next time.-

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Why would you ever need to spell that?

-Drape is never funny.

BFFE

-Basically, if you don't love The Big Lebowski, we're not really friends.

Cats are weird.

-Smother it before it wakes up.

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

The honeymoon phase is over

-Step away from the kitten ...

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

-Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

Doing Something

-$37 well spent.

Everything is not a feminist issue

-If this is the only thing you know, I feel awful for all the things you actually do know.

Chicago’s Winter Layers

-At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

The tall guy at basement shows

-"Do you need ice for your vagina?" - "Yes."

Time to buy some matches

-I DO THIS EVERY DAY?!

Showers are magic

-"OK, now get out of my house." - "UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Coors can breakdown

-WAIT, DON'T GO, I CAN CHANGE, I SWEAR!

Basically, yea.

-Sportz!

It’s the thought that counts

If I can get just one employee fired for cussing at a kid due to being completely overwhelmed then I've done my part.

-

Just go home

I bet you tune by ear too because you "don't trust" tuners.

-

Happy can’t talk I’m late for work day

-Before you call me boring, just know I spent eight months of 2013 totally not doing that shit at all.

White people just don’t understand

-"They make me want to rob a pet store, let the dogs wild, like I should close all the schools just to make the kids smile." - "OK, now I feel like you're making fun of me, but I can't tell how."

Real Feel

-"Hm. Looks like rain." - Chance of rain: 100%.

How office romances start

-You had me at "you'll do."

The Usual Expects

I sneaked a packet of anthrax into his package, for grammar's sake.-

Shower cycles

Why don't I just put product in my hair? I have standards, people. Get on board.-

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Firstly, you're not supposed to hate anyone. See if you can do that for a day and I'll give you more.-

New City

-Have you ever BEEN to south Florida?

Online customer service

-"Hang on a moment while I google that for you."

How Halloween was started

-It's quite a boring story.

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