senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: new

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.-

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Cat Something

-Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.-

Why would you ever need to spell that?

-Drape is never funny.

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.-

BFFE

-Basically, if you don't love The Big Lebowski, we're not really friends.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.-

Cats are weird.

-Smother it before it wakes up.

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.-

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.-

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.-

 

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-

The honeymoon phase is over

-Step away from the kitten ...

Sharing

The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.-

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

-The return of death by scissors.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

-Let's go back to that.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.-

Smoke-free smoke breaks

-I just want to take seven paid breaks a day, too.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

In which a room needs cleaning.

-No one notices when you clean unless you allow it to get dirty enough first.

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-

I’ll fight you

-Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-

It’s really consumed my days

-I blame tacos. Wait, blame is the wrong word. I thank tacos.

Understanding

It's a process. Not a good one, though.-

Spoiler: they don’t live in Florida

-I bet you thought this was going to be about a cat ...

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.-

Draw what you know

-I think that's what cats look like.

Timely

There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.-

Science

I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.-

“Prison” is a funny looking word when you type it over and over

-You know, the way you phrased all that makes me feel like you were making my argument for me.

The Old Switcheroo

Here I stand, all bent and stooped- Tried to fart, but only pooped.-

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

-Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

Wahhhhmuel L. Jackson

Yeah, look at that fucking car. You like that, don't you? Yeah, you like that.-

All seven of my deadly sins are “envy”

-His beard is the only thing in the world that can do more push-ups than me.

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg-

Doing Something

-$37 well spent.

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.-

Everything is not a feminist issue

-If this is the only thing you know, I feel awful for all the things you actually do know.

Curling >

I'm getting a second job to pay for a cable upgrade. I just have to be off by 4am.-

Chicago’s Winter Layers

-At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

Obligations

This comic is late because of those links. Back to the grind!-

The tall guy at basement shows

-"Do you need ice for your vagina?" - "Yes."

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."-

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