senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: dick

No problem

-"I'm serious, you can't tell anyone." - "I'm serious, stop talking to me."

Either way, you’re gross

-Switch to human skin.

Buttstuff

When I asked my girlfriend if she liked this title, she said "Yeah, I like buttstuff."-

Books

Also, "calculating" anything makes you a nerd. And get a kindle already.

-

Loyalty

-You'll know I get the job if I no call/no show for the rest of the week.

Hangs

I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.-

Priceless

The economy could be booming, if only people adjusted the way they viewed my services.-

No Thank You

Just stop.-

Fart Gallery

Those farts cost me $9.25, and they were worth every penny.-

Is That a No?

Just kidding, pay for our gas and we'll be there.-

You guys are all the coolest guys

-"Faggot."

Sleep overs

-I only share my coffee if I HAVE to.

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.-

Being out of sick days sucks

-I should really get a real job.

Starving Hardest

Get out there and make a name for yourself. What is your name, by the way? "Fuck You For Listening."-

Making Friends

People you meet on tour are full of these great opening lines.-

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.-

Uninvited

Stay at home and "watch" your movies by yourself, freak.-

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.-

Seems Legit

-"Oh yea. And you're top in sales like, every week. 'Atta-boy."

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.-

Semantics

Woah woah woah, I ain't tryin' to be a part of no love triangle here!-

Who Knows Anymore

I'll just look online to see if it DAMNIT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES.-

You keep saying that word …

I just want you to be prepapared for the biggest let down in the history of television.

-

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!-

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.-

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Cat Something

-Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.-

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

-The return of death by scissors.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

-Let's go back to that.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.-

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-

I’ll fight you

-Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.-

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

We can’t be funny all the time

-SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Chicago’s Winter Layers

-At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."-

JK

Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.-

Half-Milestone

I've gotta find some way to skip a day so Guy 2 gets on evens. Way too much stress.-

Showers are magic

-"OK, now get out of my house." - "UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Coors can breakdown

-WAIT, DON'T GO, I CAN CHANGE, I SWEAR!

No shave nowinter

-Yea, that's how my facial hair grows, you want to fight about it?

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