senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: dick

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Cat Something

-Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.-

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

-The return of death by scissors.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

-Let's go back to that.

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.-

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-

I’ll fight you

-Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.-

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

We can’t be funny all the time

-SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Chicago’s Winter Layers

-At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."-

JK

Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.-

Half-Milestone

I've gotta find some way to skip a day so Guy 2 gets on evens. Way too much stress.-

Showers are magic

-"OK, now get out of my house." - "UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Coors can breakdown

-WAIT, DON'T GO, I CAN CHANGE, I SWEAR!

No shave nowinter

-Yea, that's how my facial hair grows, you want to fight about it?

And Ye Shall Find

"Do you know how to spell it? No? It's a Behringer."-

Senior Discount

What, because you have less time to use the product you think we should make less money on it? Nice try.-

It’s a Trampoline Store

They sell trampolines.-

Pissed Opportunities

Piss is basically a 1-star rating. Shit is a formal complaint with the BBB.-

Call the Cops

More like "butt-curdling."-

White Christmas

Don't be a dick this holiday, hope for a regular colored Christmas.

-

Surprise Sext

Dingus Milbury likes to go by just "Gus," but I keep him in my phone as "Dingus" because I like to remember that his parents hated him, too.-

Duck Crynasty

If we can't say queers aren't people, then what CAN we say?-

Plight of the Bumblefuck

He can get orange juice from down the street for less than you're charging for lemonade, but he can't buy from them anymore due to their inability to give it to him in a plastic cup.-

The Usual Expects

I sneaked a packet of anthrax into his package, for grammar's sake.-

Wing Dingleberry

If you don't speak wing ding, don't worry- it wouldn't make this funnier.-

Always avoid offensive alliteration

-This was an actual headline to the marathon bombings the day of that I decided I would hold on to until everyone forgot that it was a huge tragedy and could appreciate how hilarious it was and how worthless the news is.

Behind the Candelabra

-You look great, by the way. Totally fuckable.

Conversations With My Girlfriend

Whole conversations half-held.-

Better Late Than Ever

Halloween should be observed on the last Saturday of October.-

Don’t be a gay (guest comic five)

-My pa' says common courtesy's fer queers!

Thanks to Reymun Jarvis aka Worsethen Jarbage at Beat the Whales Productions for this submission.

Email your guest comics to bjess002@gmail.com!

Ever want to be really mean to a fat lady?

-So did I.

Grammar can be confusing

-But no, I fucking hate the movies.

Meatstores, Inc.

They sell meat in stores.-

Novocaine

-Novocaine gives our characters faces. It's a messy drug.

Presidential Gas

Hail to the beef.-

Barhunt Checklist

Don't take a card in 2013? Fuck you.-

The Absent Minded Slacker

October is a tricky month. At least I remembered that she had a birthday within this year.-

ISPs Suck

Friday? Who's got time for that?-

Strict TSA

-"This trashcan will do."

Zit Advice

Now lance it with a bullet and hope for the best.-

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 60 other followers