senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: damn

Romancipation Proclamation

I wish you guys could see the second panel. He flips the table and rips his shirt off and all the non-bitchy girls cheer and throw their panties at him. Man, you guys are really missing out.-

“Like” A Boss

"Please stop posting pictures of your baby doing drugs on my page, I think I can get arrested for that."-

“High One” Will Never Catch On

Makes you wonder how all the guys in our office comics get anything done. Typing in the Senile Something universe has to be awful.-

He’s Talking to His Mom

Is Slayer hiring?-

I don’t need an email to tell me I’ve been unsubscribed from your emails.

-To unsubscribe, please print this out, complete the 17 page questionnaire, sign the bottom, get it notarized, mail it out and wait 7-10 weeks for your request to be processed. Call this number to cancel your unsubscribe request if this takes longer than 10 weeks, then try again: 1-800-fuck-off

Don’t Drink and Doodle

Half of this conversation is true. Also, I'm hungover at band practice as you're reading this. Stay in school. But not in a dumb useless major like us.-

Monday Bloody Monday

IN THE FACE!-

Worst. Comic. Ever.

It's like the little old lady next to me and her 4 year old grandson have never seen tentacle porn before.-

That’s Not What I Would’ve Called It

Scientists are the worst at naming things.-

Glory

-Spoiler: they all die.

Billionth Time’s a Charm!

Fuck: this song, this guitar, this studio, you, me, everything, especially this song.-

Cover Comedians

-Just stick with telling Dane Cook jokes to your unfulfilled girlfriend.

More Like “WedDON’T”

Right in front of two whole families. And her dress was so beautiful, too!-

Party of One

"Oh, you wanna buy me a beer? Yeah, I've just been really busy. I've missed you. I enjoy our times together. Let's be best friends."-

Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number (In Years, Preferably)

How many twelfths of a foot tall are you?-

April Fools

It's a long setup, but soooo worth it.-

In which the news is broken

-"Ok, the good news is I'm buying you a new dog ..."

How to Pick Up Chicks: Step 1

Step 2: Get fat and die-

Hangman

Best. Suicide note. Ever.-

Fun with animals

-"I was going to get a dog but it was too much responsibility. You don't even have to pick up this one's poop."

Pie Shart

The black part is the color of my dick.-

Knees

And why are you so grainy?-

Dangover

Practice makes perfect!-

Dinner at Sonny’s

-They have a strict no "no butter" policy.

The New Pope Had This Commissioned

I always considered myself a Michelangelo. Raphael was too hot-headed, Donatello was too gay, and I've never been much of a leader.-

Faux hawk

-The "conflicted" shirt will help.

Make it Rain Piss

Not that $17 is going to go make much of a dent in these student loans.-

You can’t do shit here.

Might as well just turn around. Wait-- nope. Can't do that, either.

-

Gay-Kissing

Windowth to the thoul.-

The magical powers of water

-"Rain is made pretty much entirely out of water."

Taking a Poll

That band sucks too. You're bad at this game.-

In which it is impossible to store

-Fuck it. Vegetables are overrated anyway.

Science of Sleep

This comic brought to you by zero hours of sleep, which has a caption of "Fuck yeah, wait, fuck nooooooo."-

Moving to Australia won’t help.

-"Love it or leave it, man" hacky sacks, headbands and hemp products now available at your local coffee shop.

Submit your own “Republican protestor” sign to bjess002@gmail.com!

To Tame The Beast

"SOMEONE TOOK THE LAST DOUGHNUT?!" "NOOOOOOOOOO, GREEEEEEEG!"-

The importance of being punctual

"It's Tuesday. Also, my name is Austin."-

Shartistic license

-Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore shart thou Romeo?

Every man’s first ultrasound

-"You can't fool me, Doctor. I've seen 'Alien' before."

Rich owners

-No one likes any of those things except coffee-- and there's a Starbucks across the street.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn …

-And a poorly drawn girl, at that!

White History Month

-Woah, woah, woah! Can we rename Christmas "Crackermas?"

Your band is weird

-If you went out of your way to join an awful band just to make me feel obligated to listen ... bravo. You are stone cold.

Like, dude …

-Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?

Honey cures all

-Moral: Put honey on your face. It solves all of your problems.

Priorities

-So then I says to the missus "Call it whatever you want, I can't be expected to name every fucking thing that comes out of you."

Morning cup of depression

-Unlike regular bullets, with which you can at least kill yourself.

Either god exists or designers have a sick sense of humor

-And they're blasphemers, to boot!  -- Also, re: the title ... latter.

Economics of alcohol

-"Can I get a pitcher?" "$42." "Hmmmm ... Better get two."

Vegan Honey

-Oh. I'll just take it with half and half, then.

Spirits have a sense of humor, too.

-Inspired by true (by reality television's standards) events.

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