senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Tag: damn

Reason for the seasons

Florida is the monogamy of temperature.

-

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!-

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.-

Cats are weird.

-Smother it before it wakes up.

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.-

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.-

 

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-

The honeymoon phase is over

-Step away from the kitten ...

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

-The return of death by scissors.

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

-Let's go back to that.

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

In which a room needs cleaning.

-No one notices when you clean unless you allow it to get dirty enough first.

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-

I’ll fight you

-Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-

Spoiler: they don’t live in Florida

-I bet you thought this was going to be about a cat ...

Science

I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.-

“Prison” is a funny looking word when you type it over and over

-You know, the way you phrased all that makes me feel like you were making my argument for me.

The Old Switcheroo

Here I stand, all bent and stooped- Tried to fart, but only pooped.-

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

-Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

Wahhhhmuel L. Jackson

Yeah, look at that fucking car. You like that, don't you? Yeah, you like that.-

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.-

Everything is not a feminist issue

-If this is the only thing you know, I feel awful for all the things you actually do know.

I don’t care

I'm sooooooooo sorry your case got to you before your guitar. Do you want to hug it out? Need some tea? Chamomille? Need some ice for your vagina?

-

Important Questions

How much guitar would a guitar guitar if a guitar could guitar?-

JK

Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.-

Half-Milestone

I've gotta find some way to skip a day so Guy 2 gets on evens. Way too much stress.-

Showers are magic

-"OK, now get out of my house." - "UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Coors can breakdown

-WAIT, DON'T GO, I CAN CHANGE, I SWEAR!

No shave nowinter

-Yea, that's how my facial hair grows, you want to fight about it?

Inspiration

I guess you could say bad.-

Basically, yea.

-Sportz!

And Ye Shall Find

"Do you know how to spell it? No? It's a Behringer."-

Senior Discount

What, because you have less time to use the product you think we should make less money on it? Nice try.-

Girls apparently don’t read on the shitter

-"Oh, I've been done pooping for about four pages-- just trying to knock out this chapter."

Just go home

I bet you tune by ear too because you "don't trust" tuners.

-

Snow Day

True story, but I drank it all the night before. And drew this comic then, too.-

How traditions are made

-Graphs can be comics, too.

Happy can’t talk I’m late for work day

-Before you call me boring, just know I spent eight months of 2013 totally not doing that shit at all.

Pissed Opportunities

Piss is basically a 1-star rating. Shit is a formal complaint with the BBB.-

What they don’t tell you about living up North

-And wind is just really cold wind.

Call the Cops

More like "butt-curdling."-

It’s still winter

-See also: March.

Christmas Daydrunk

Present selection order is soooo important. Pick the bottle-shaped one first.-

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 60 other followers