senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Multi-panel

My best ideas are on bike

-But I can never remember them when I'm done riding.

Too Early

Everything means "bedtime?" to me.-

Big Trouble

-"Then she said 'don't worry about it.'" -- "It's worse than I thought."

All I want to do is whatever I want

"You seem to be going quite a bit over the speed limit, too." - "Bah-- those things are more like suggestions."

-

I don’t get paid to talk to you out of the office

-Don't be such a cunthole, Steve.

You guys are all the coolest guys

-"Faggot."

Fair enough

-Usually he just sits and stares. But I didn't feel like drawing him that way. Please see Monday's comic for explanation.

The Girl with the Coffee Tattoo

-"Yes, of course. How rude of me. I'll put on a pot right away."

I’m bad with short goodbyes

-Bring it in for the real thing.

“What a cute baby, what’s his name?” – “Spot.”

That baby's pretty chill, though.

-

It’s my favorite number of outs

-"Hey, coach. What's my on base percentage?" - ".666." - "STOP IT."

Seems Legit

-"Oh yea. And you're top in sales like, every week. 'Atta-boy."

You keep saying that word …

I just want you to be prepapared for the biggest let down in the history of television.

-

Reason for the seasons

Florida is the monogamy of temperature.

-

That’ll show ‘em.

I don't know, maybe don't tell her all that next time.-

Why would you ever need to spell that?

-Drape is never funny.

BFFE

-Basically, if you don't love The Big Lebowski, we're not really friends.

Cats are weird.

-Smother it before it wakes up.

The honeymoon phase is over

-Step away from the kitten ...

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

-The return of death by scissors.

In which a room needs cleaning.

-No one notices when you clean unless you allow it to get dirty enough first.

It’s really consumed my days

-I blame tacos. Wait, blame is the wrong word. I thank tacos.

Spoiler: they don’t live in Florida

-I bet you thought this was going to be about a cat ...

Draw what you know

-I think that's what cats look like.

I don’t trust them

 

-Just sitting there ... spinning.

Science

I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.-

“Prison” is a funny looking word when you type it over and over

-You know, the way you phrased all that makes me feel like you were making my argument for me.

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

-Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

Wahhhhmuel L. Jackson

Yeah, look at that fucking car. You like that, don't you? Yeah, you like that.-

Doing Something

-$37 well spent.

Everything is not a feminist issue

-If this is the only thing you know, I feel awful for all the things you actually do know.

I don’t care

I'm sooooooooo sorry your case got to you before your guitar. Do you want to hug it out? Need some tea? Chamomille? Need some ice for your vagina?

-

Time to buy some matches

-I DO THIS EVERY DAY?!

Showers are magic

-"OK, now get out of my house." - "UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH."

White Christmas

Don't be a dick this holiday, hope for a regular colored Christmas.

-

How the breakfast place was won

They both are equally effective, but only one can be funny.

-

Real Feel

-"Hm. Looks like rain." - Chance of rain: 100%.

Shower cycles

Why don't I just put product in my hair? I have standards, people. Get on board.-

Ghost-writer – a guest comic by guy 2: Word of the year

-Shart was runner up. I mean like a really close runner up. Any more pressure it would've been shart. He almost sharted.

Thanks to Jon Shiver for the idea of this “guest” comic. His refusal to put it to paper and insistence that I take his ideas led us to the first ever ghost-writer comic. Enjoy, and send your ideas/guest comics to bjess002@gmail.com.

First day of work

-I can name what instrument they all play, too. We have too many bosses.

Don’t be a gay (guest comic five)

-My pa' says common courtesy's fer queers!

Thanks to Reymun Jarvis aka Worsethen Jarbage at Beat the Whales Productions for this submission.

Email your guest comics to bjess002@gmail.com!

Novocaine

-Novocaine gives our characters faces. It's a messy drug.

The many counties of Orange

-A, don't respond to "where are you from" with the name of the county you live in. B, fuck off.

President Bad Mother Fucker

-Just to be clear, this is a joke about his big dick, not about him being a war monger or something.

Regrets

-All those characters who are killed off must be so pumped to not live in that boring-ass story anymore.

Awesome Van for Awesome Man

That Van Club is real. It's on par with the "Black Dudes with Dreds" club and "Pregnant Bitches United."

-

Luckiest dogs ever

-And this one I actually carried on my back out of a burning house that his previous owners were killed in. His name is Greg.

Unlike

-*like* - "Ok guys we're one away again!" *unlike* - "Awwwwwww ..."

Concerts

-Being able to buy beer really changes your perspective on life.

Any title would be a spoiler (Guest comic four)

-Penis.

Submit your guest comic at bjess002@gmail.com

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