senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Guy 2

Reason for the seasons

Florida is the monogamy of temperature.

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That’ll show ‘em.

I don't know, maybe don't tell her all that next time.-

Caller ID is still a thing

I know your address, too.-

April snowers.

It's not snow anymore. It's just confused rain, now.-

Cat Something

-Here at Senile Something, cats are the new coffee. Except cats took the spotlight by force.

Why would you ever need to spell that?

-Drape is never funny.

BFFE

-Basically, if you don't love The Big Lebowski, we're not really friends.

Cats are weird.

-Smother it before it wakes up.

“This book is dedicated to that awful band.”

-April Fools. Shit, I mean this really happened.

You’ve reached Google inc, what can I google for you?

I ask because literally everything you can ask me can be answered on the computer.-

 

The honeymoon phase is over

-Step away from the kitten ...

Whoever keeps saying this: please stop.

-The return of death by scissors.

How does it feel to be the first person in history to have a wrong opinion?

-Let's go back to that.

Smoke-free smoke breaks

-I just want to take seven paid breaks a day, too.

In which a room needs cleaning.

-No one notices when you clean unless you allow it to get dirty enough first.

I’ll fight you

-Oh, it wasn't a joke? Wrong. You're the joke.

It’s really consumed my days

-I blame tacos. Wait, blame is the wrong word. I thank tacos.

Spoiler: they don’t live in Florida

-I bet you thought this was going to be about a cat ...

Draw what you know

-I think that's what cats look like.

I don’t trust them

 

-Just sitting there ... spinning.

“Prison” is a funny looking word when you type it over and over

-You know, the way you phrased all that makes me feel like you were making my argument for me.

I’m not a jerk, I just own a dictionary

-Just call it what it is. This costs $5. I’m not donating anything, I’m paying you. Liar.

All seven of my deadly sins are “envy”

-His beard is the only thing in the world that can do more push-ups than me.

We can’t be funny all the time

-SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Doing Something

-$37 well spent.

Everything is not a feminist issue

-If this is the only thing you know, I feel awful for all the things you actually do know.

Chicago’s Winter Layers

-At least we hope they're all squirrels. If a few dogs, cats or rabbits get in the mix it'd be very upsetting ... OK not so much the cats.

The tall guy at basement shows

-"Do you need ice for your vagina?" - "Yes."

I don’t care

I'm sooooooooo sorry your case got to you before your guitar. Do you want to hug it out? Need some tea? Chamomille? Need some ice for your vagina?

-

Time to buy some matches

-I DO THIS EVERY DAY?!

In logic we pray …

-I'm serious, you understand how food works, right? Right? It's important to me that you know this.

Free at last

No matter where you drop your food, if it's on the floor where a pet lives, there's hair on it when you pick it up.

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Showers are magic

-"OK, now get out of my house." - "UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH."

Coors can breakdown

-WAIT, DON'T GO, I CAN CHANGE, I SWEAR!

No shave nowinter

-Yea, that's how my facial hair grows, you want to fight about it?

Basically, yea.

-Sportz!

It’s the thought that counts

If I can get just one employee fired for cussing at a kid due to being completely overwhelmed then I've done my part.

-

Girls apparently don’t read on the shitter

-"Oh, I've been done pooping for about four pages-- just trying to knock out this chapter."

Just go home

I bet you tune by ear too because you "don't trust" tuners.

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How traditions are made

-Graphs can be comics, too.

Happy can’t talk I’m late for work day

-Before you call me boring, just know I spent eight months of 2013 totally not doing that shit at all.

What they don’t tell you about living up North

-And wind is just really cold wind.

It’s still winter

-See also: March.

White Christmas

Don't be a dick this holiday, hope for a regular colored Christmas.

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Seems like a lot of pressure

-Aren't you supposed to be a bear? This isn't inspiring at all.

White people just don’t understand

-"They make me want to rob a pet store, let the dogs wild, like I should close all the schools just to make the kids smile." - "OK, now I feel like you're making fun of me, but I can't tell how."

How the breakfast place was won

They both are equally effective, but only one can be funny.

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Stating the statement

-"Hey can I ask you a question?" - "Sure." - "Thanks." *click*  ...

Real Feel

-"Hm. Looks like rain." - Chance of rain: 100%.

How office romances start

-You had me at "you'll do."

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