senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Guy 1

Enhance

I don't feel comfortable with you all up in my grill like this.-

Too Early

Everything means "bedtime?" to me.-

Hangs

I hang out with everyone all the time, just some of them are doing other things. Like work, or terrorism, or being dead.-

Head Shapes

Really sensitive about his weird-looking cranium.-

Priceless

The economy could be booming, if only people adjusted the way they viewed my services.-

The Struggle

I took calculus in college, so I can tell you it's 6pm.-

Undependence Day

Sweaty Christmas-

Car Trouble

Editor's note: SS would never commit or condone the actions described in this comic. That would be fraud. *biggest fucking wink ever*-

No Thank You

Just stop.-

Fart Gallery

Those farts cost me $9.25, and they were worth every penny.-

Is That a No?

Just kidding, pay for our gas and we'll be there.-

Frankenspine

I haven't actually googled Frankenspine. If that's a real band I'm not talking about them.-

Commitment

Mr. Johnson stayed the night with me and now he feels really differently about drinking on the job.-

Full-time is a Flat Circle

Guess I'd better just kill myself this weekend to keep it from happening again.-

Rest Up

Makes total sense. Why don't you come in around noon?-

Beard Envy

And now here I am bragging to you guys about a beard I don't have anymore. Impressed?-

Classy

I'm still just having a five dollar and ten cent meal, though.-

Starving Hardest

Get out there and make a name for yourself. What is your name, by the way? "Fuck You For Listening."-

Touring Florida

Sleeping in the van, whether I'm driving or not.-

Morning Dilemma

I'm not trying to say I don't like it. In fact, I think people should wake me up with coffee more often so I can get desensitized to it.-

Making Friends

People you meet on tour are full of these great opening lines.-

Breakin’ 1: Electric Boogalunn

We'll be here all week... next week.-

Never Enough

I need at least 24 hours of sleep before I can wake up and go back to sleep again.-

Rules Are Rules

I always shit at work. But I also always shit at home. Basically, I always shit everywhere.-

Nerf Turder

And then they all laughed and pointed at me with their weiners.-

Uninvited

Stay at home and "watch" your movies by yourself, freak.-

Just Lose It

Paint the town red.-

Semantics, Two

Gonna get a lot of reading done. Oh, and some naps.-

Semantics

Woah woah woah, I ain't tryin' to be a part of no love triangle here!-

Who Knows Anymore

I'll just look online to see if it DAMNIT OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES.-

Timeless

Farts are always funny, but once in a while you get that comedian that goes too far and poops.-

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!-

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.-

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-

Impersonation

Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.-

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.-

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.-

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.-

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.-

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-

Sharing

The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.-

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.-

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-

Changes

Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-

Understanding

It's a process. Not a good one, though.-

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.-

Timely

There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.-

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