senile something

A webcomic about life, love, and plagiarism. Updated Monday-Friday. Sometimes.

Category: Guy 1


Farts are always funny, but once in a while you get that comedian that goes too far and poops.-

Literary Winter is Coming

The future is now, and it's boring. And not just because you have to read it!-

Where Is Your God Now?

Lots of people listen to your voicemail greeting. Try to live your life accordingly.-

Give ‘Em Smell!

Smells like a bakery and a sewage treatment plant made a baby and then aborted it with a soldering iron.-


Trying new things with our jokes, testing the waters for more experimental stuff. Maybe props.-

Fish Aren’t Funny

Damnit! Ok, just this once.-

Safe Bet

Always bet on death.-

One Nation, Under Friday

Some people are just too comfortable praising the weekend in the workplace.-

Back Pain

Sure, three lifeguards would probably work better than one. But we're talking about aspirin, not big tan hunks.-

Order of Operations

Gotta learn to walk before you can run. But first you have to grow legs or something.-

Breaking News

The guy all the way on the right is Tim. He hears it all the time.-


The number of my poops today can be represented by the equation "n-x," where "n" is how many poops is enough, and "x" is greater than or equal to 1.-

Right Dead Fred

This is definitely the biggest dick I've ever drawn.-

Time Shredder

Being 27 and on tour gets you this question all the time. The real answer is usually right around the age of the asker.-

Grow Up

If you hate the number so much, just give me a discount. I'm not spending more money because you're an idiot.-

Things Only Get Worse

Sometimes the headache is in my eyes, sometimes it's in my soul.-


Turns out I was brewing pure heroin. I don't know how the grocery store got that mixed up, but I am glad I bought it at a chain big enough to pay for my rehab.-


It's a process. Not a good one, though.-

Dogs Can Grow Beards, Though

Google also says cats can give you feelings. I'm never coming over again.-


There's no way I'm watching Gravity. Nothing can win that many awards and still be good.-


I'm on 18, and I'm feeling pretty great. Let me know when the bathroom's available, though.-

The Old Switcheroo

Here I stand, all bent and stooped- Tried to fart, but only pooped.-

Wahhhhmuel L. Jackson

Yeah, look at that fucking car. You like that, don't you? Yeah, you like that.-

People Pay More For That?

Also, maybe quit using the word "cup." "Tube" would probably work.-

Nailed It

More like "Presidon'ts Day." sfkjlhgsdlfkjnvslkdjfhglwuehrglkjsnvveiwhlkdjfhg-

One Wish

I think it really threw off my whole day. I could be president right now if things had gone differently.-

Curling >

I'm getting a second job to pay for a cable upgrade. I just have to be off by 4am.-


This comic is late because of those links. Back to the grind!-

Say What You Mean

"Hi Sean, I'm a big asshole and I want a huge discount."-

Anatomy is Weird

It never goes down the crotch tube.-

Important Questions

How much guitar would a guitar guitar if a guitar could guitar?-


Jk about the jk part. Leave me alone.-


I've gotta find some way to skip a day so Guy 2 gets on evens. Way too much stress.-

Pissness Meeting

The visiting business men were so impressed with his boldness they signed a ten-year contract with their firm, Urine, Urine & Wizz.-

Pale for Good

Dad was all like "You don't see sand this white even in Hawaii!" and then he got real quiet and said "Kids... get back in the car."-


I guess you could say bad.-

And Ye Shall Find

"Do you know how to spell it? No? It's a Behringer."-

Senior Discount

What, because you have less time to use the product you think we should make less money on it? Nice try.-

Grown-Ass Babies

When Mike thinks you need to grow up, you're in trouble.-

Snow Day

True story, but I drank it all the night before. And drew this comic then, too.-

It’s a Trampoline Store

They sell trampolines.-

Pissed Opportunities

Piss is basically a 1-star rating. Shit is a formal complaint with the BBB.-

Call the Cops

More like "butt-curdling."-

Christmas Daydrunk

Present selection order is soooo important. Pick the bottle-shaped one first.-

Surprise Sext

Dingus Milbury likes to go by just "Gus," but I keep him in my phone as "Dingus" because I like to remember that his parents hated him, too.-

Duck Crynasty

If we can't say queers aren't people, then what CAN we say?-


I made enough money on day 28, but by then the gas had covered the better part of America, so the tour was kind of unnecessary.-


Think Santa saw you walk under that ladder earlier?-

Plight of the Bumblefuck

He can get orange juice from down the street for less than you're charging for lemonade, but he can't buy from them anymore due to their inability to give it to him in a plastic cup.-

Birds and the fleas

What? No, I'm allergic to bees.-


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